Monday, February 8, 2010

Journal Entry #2

Attachment Styles

            In Chapter 2 we talked about four different types of attachment styles.  The four include: secure, fearful, dismissive, and anxious/ambivalent.  In class we talked about these different attachment styles in relation to children, so that is how I am going to relate this.  The attachment style that I am most related to with my mother is the secure attachment style.  According to Wood (2010), “A secure attachment style is facilitated when the caregiver responds in a consistently attentive and loving way to the child.  In response, the child develops a positive sense of worth, and a positive view of others” (p. 47).  I think there are grey areas on these attachment styles as you grow older, but all in all I believe that this style was definitely the attachment that I had with my mother growing up.  My mother’s life has always revolved around my sister, my brother, and myself.  In return my mother is all of our best friends.  She always was there for us and we do the same in return now that we are older.  As far as the grey area goes I believe now that we are older we learn things on our own in addition to what my mother taught us and we go through spurts where we have trust and other issues with people, but I do not feel that this coincides with my attachment style from when I was a little baby/kid.  I thank my mother as much as I can for using her attachment style on me because I believe that it has allowed me to build the relationships that I have in my life.

 

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Journal Entry #1

Identity Scripts

            In Chapter 2 we talked about identity scripts.  Identity scripts according to Wood (2010), “Define our roles, how we are to play them, and the basic elements in the plots of our lives” (p. 47).  When I think about identity scripts one in particular that sticks with me deals with sports and my dad.  My parents have been separated since I have been in the seventh grade and the only times that I can remember with my dad involve me and/or my brother and/or sister playing sports.  Sports were a huge part of my dad growing up so he instilled those same values in us. He always forced my sister and I to play softball and I hated it.  I think it was resentment toward my dad that made me hate the sport even more.  Because of these “values” that my dad tried to instill in us that only had to do with athletics made me have an identity script of being athletic even when I quit the sports after high school.  To this day my best fried calls me “jock strap” which is just foul and ridiculous, but I believe it is because I played sports my whole life and the identity script still sticks with me.

 

 

 

 

Artifact #1

Perception Checking

Introduction

The idea of perception checking really intrigues me.  I feel as though it is a concept that a lot of people can relate to in their normal day-to-day lives and relationships.  When I first had learned about this concept I thought about an example from the movie Mean Girls, and about the part in the film when the girls get caught up in drama with a three-way phone conversation and how to interpret everyone’s meanings of their words during the conversation. 

 Concept

According to Wood (2010), “Perception checking is an important communication skill because it helps people arrive at mutual understandings of each other and their relationships.” “To check perceptions, you should first state what you have noticed.  When checking perceptions, it’s important to use a tentative tone rather than a dogmatic or accusatory one.  This minimizes defensiveness and encourages good discussion.  Just let the other person know you’ve noticed something and would like him or her to clarify his or her perceptions of what is happening and what it means” (p. 85).  In a clearer sense perception checking is composed of three process’ including: a description of the behavior, two possible perceptions of the behavior, and a request for clarification about how to interpret the behavior.  Perception checking monitors labels while avoiding mind reading.

 Relationship Issue

            My significant other was cooking dinner for me one night, and it is usually me cooking dinner for the two of us.  So this person goes to start cooking and decides to make veggie burgers (Just a little side note this person is very self conscious about their ability to cook.)  So they start cooking and I said, “I have never had a veggie burger.”  Now the pressure was on even more.  So finally the meal was complete and we sat down to eat the mysterious veggie burgers.  I bit into mine and did not have any bias reaction to it.  Right away my significant other freaked out and was saying that I hated it and I did not have to eat it and that they should have never even cooked in the first place.  I was taken back because I knew that I had no reaction to it yet and had to clarify that I liked it over and over and over again.  Although I know this example is all too exciting I just shared it because I like that it was shown through a person other than myself. 

 Connection

            I tend to have a little too much in common with my mom and have all too many traits that I have inherited from her.  One of these traits is being able to read people.  I really enjoy this sometimes and other times it comes back to bite me.  I really hold onto first impressions and get a lot of vibes from people.  I guess you can say I have a niche for reading nonverbals.  I must say I have too many examples of  “reading people” but the one I decided to use above was about someone else using perception checking so that is why I decided to use that particular one.  In the example it showed the different elements of perception checking.  It showed that their was a behavior which was cooking the meal and that the two interpretations was that they thought that I hated it when I actually liked it and I had to clarify this in a very repetitive and assuring manner. 

 Conclusion

            Perception checking is such a fun concept because I think every person could relate this concept to an event that they have had in their life.  It can contain something as small as a three-way call to something as big as whether or not someone enjoys a veggie burger.