Artifact #1

Perception Checking

Introduction

The idea of perception checking really intrigues me.  I feel as though it is a concept that a lot of people can relate to in their normal day-to-day lives and relationships.  When I first had learned about this concept I thought about an example from the movie Mean Girls, and about the part in the film when the girls get caught up in drama with a three-way phone conversation and how to interpret everyone’s meanings of their words during the conversation. 

 Concept

According to Wood (2010), “Perception checking is an important communication skill because it helps people arrive at mutual understandings of each other and their relationships.” “To check perceptions, you should first state what you have noticed.  When checking perceptions, it’s important to use a tentative tone rather than a dogmatic or accusatory one.  This minimizes defensiveness and encourages good discussion.  Just let the other person know you’ve noticed something and would like him or her to clarify his or her perceptions of what is happening and what it means” (p. 85).  In a clearer sense perception checking is composed of three process’ including: a description of the behavior, two possible perceptions of the behavior, and a request for clarification about how to interpret the behavior.  Perception checking monitors labels while avoiding mind reading.

 Relationship Issue

            My significant other was cooking dinner for me one night, and it is usually me cooking dinner for the two of us.  So this person goes to start cooking and decides to make veggie burgers (Just a little side note this person is very self conscious about their ability to cook.)  So they start cooking and I said, “I have never had a veggie burger.”  Now the pressure was on even more.  So finally the meal was complete and we sat down to eat the mysterious veggie burgers.  I bit into mine and did not have any bias reaction to it.  Right away my significant other freaked out and was saying that I hated it and I did not have to eat it and that they should have never even cooked in the first place.  I was taken back because I knew that I had no reaction to it yet and had to clarify that I liked it over and over and over again.  Although I know this example is all too exciting I just shared it because I like that it was shown through a person other than myself. 

 Connection

            I tend to have a little too much in common with my mom and have all too many traits that I have inherited from her.  One of these traits is being able to read people.  I really enjoy this sometimes and other times it comes back to bite me.  I really hold onto first impressions and get a lot of vibes from people.  I guess you can say I have a niche for reading nonverbals.  I must say I have too many examples of  “reading people” but the one I decided to use above was about someone else using perception checking so that is why I decided to use that particular one.  In the example it showed the different elements of perception checking.  It showed that their was a behavior which was cooking the meal and that the two interpretations was that they thought that I hated it when I actually liked it and I had to clarify this in a very repetitive and assuring manner. 

 Conclusion

            Perception checking is such a fun concept because I think every person could relate this concept to an event that they have had in their life.  It can contain something as small as a three-way call to something as big as whether or not someone enjoys a veggie burger.